Nobody Expects the Spanish Inquisition

It might as well have been. First my humans trick me into the car, where I think we'll go to see some nice humans, like Poppa-Nan. Then we go to some place I've never been and I get poked and prodded by humans I've never seen or smelled before! First some female human put me on some big platform thing and kept trying to hold me still, without explaining what she was doing, and it was very scary, so I had a little accident. I've never had this particular sort of accident before, so it was very surprising and humiliating. But I think, from something my humans said, it saved me from getting probed in a very delicate area, so maybe it was for the best. Then I'm sliding around on a hard metal table with some male human I don't know holding me and being altogether too familiar with me, in my opinion. My humans are just standing around saying, "Good girl, you're being so good." Do something resembling anything and get me out of here! But they didn't.

Then another male human comes in and talks and shines lights in my eyes and lifts my ears and tries to look at my teeth and pokes me with sharp things several times. Then a female human comes in and starts clipping my nails, coming mighty close to pain a few times. (Though I have to admit in retrospect she did a pretty good job.) Finally the torture session was over and I could go outside and sniff around and leave my mark on the place. If only my humans would simply have given me time to adjust, but no, they had to rush me in and get right to the pain and humiliation. I really just wanted to bite someone, but my good breeding wouldn't allow it.

I've lost a little weight. It must be from all the running and playing Molly and I do, because I'm eating more than ever. I weigh 15.8 pounds now, my fighting weight. It's good to be this svelte again, though I still think I looked just fine with a few more pounds. (Apparently this is what the female was doing earlier with the platform that scared me. Why didn't she just say so?)

Now I'm finally back home where I belong and am feeling quite exhausted. Dios mio, what a day!

Molly & Me

Another beautiful day

My female human is gone again; she's gone a lot during the day. I don't like it. But my male human is home and I like that. He is often on the computer or in the bathroom, though. He doesn't pay enough attention to me. At least I have Molly. She's pretty fun to play with when she's not comatose. I'm still working on putting up a picture of her; I hope to get that done this weekend.

The weather is beautiful! It's cool and sunny. I like to stay outside and chase squirrels and dig in the dirt on days like this. Well, I like to do that any day, really, as long as it isn't raining. The only good thing about rain is the puddles it makes.

I don't know why we never go to our old house anymore, and I miss seeing Sydney and Annie and the two little humans, Emily and Zachary. They are great humans; they run and play and let me lick them, especially Emily. She doesn't make faces and say, "Eww, bad breath!" Whatever that means. It must mean the human saying it doesn't like kisses, because they usually push me away when they say it. Oh well, their loss.

I like this house much better than the old one, other than that. Sometimes weird noises came from the floor at the old house, and my humans would sometimes get angry about it, especially when it was loud. The people under the floor there were not nice; we did not like them. I don't miss them at all. They were muy loco.

Those humans...

Hola once more! I know I have been remiss in my postings, but not much has been going on. Molly still has trouble with the inside/outside thing, but I'm not sure it isn't due to some sort of physical problem, rather than mental. I've decided to give her the benefit of the doubt.

My humans took pictures of us the other day, so I want to post a picture to show you all what Molly looks like. Poor thing, she suffers in comparison to my perfection, but then who wouldn't? She doesn't care, I find, so we get along just fine. Anyway, I'll post a picture as soon as my humans fix the computer. My male human has done something to bollix up the works, so I have to wait. Sigh. Sometimes my humans are a trial. They drive me loco!

Another day...

The past couple of days have been pretty good. Nothing very exciting going on. We did have some company but no one stayed too long. Inside, anyway. There was a human male and a human female outside for a while the other day; I barked to let my humans know but they didn't seem too upset. I don't know if they knew what was going on, or if they missed the whole thing. Sometimes I wonder how much they understand.

We have some more obstacles in the house now. Two human males brought it over the other day and put all of it in the empty room. The human Brooks laid down on the floor by it (to "fix" something, I think he said) and I got to lick his ear. I do love that human.

Yesterday Nan came over to let Molly and me outside and that was exciting. She's a good human, too. The weather started off yucky but got better, which is good. Molly didn't want to come back inside.

Today is beautiful outside. ¡Muy magnífico! I wish we could stay outside. My human female said she would leave us outside, but she doesn't think the yard is safe for me. Apparently since I got out of the pen at Sydney and Annie's house, they think I'm some sort of canine Houdini. They don't seem to realize that Sydney and Annie are just bigger than I am. Anyway, they are worried I'll get out of the yard here so we don't get to stay outside. I wish we could and I know Molly does. Maybe one day.

Hard at Work

Rainy day

¡Ay carumba! It is so loud outside! Very rainy and windy and dark. I don't like thunder at all; it is too loud and I don't really understand what's going on. I found a nice place in the bathroom on some clothes my humans thoughtfully left on the floor this morning and waited it out. It didn't bother Molly at all. I don't think she's smart enough to know it's scary. Not that I was scared. It seems to be over now; it's just grey outside. Now when I go out I will have to get my paws wet. I don't care for wet grass at all. But I do like jumping in puddles. That's an entirely different thing and a lot of fun. My humans don't seem to like it when I do that; they don't know how to have fun, if you ask me.

My female human came home for lunch today and that was nice. It had stopped raining so we got to go outside, but I kept to the concrete as much as possible. Molly got in trouble for doing her business inside again, but I don't think she gets it. I've tried to tell her that we don't do that, it just isn't done, but she won't listen to me.

¡Hola!

Hello, my public! Let me start by saying that you need to forgive me if there are any typos in my postings; not having human hands makes typing tricky! But I will do my best.

Some of you may know that I have a new "sister" (as my male human is wont to call her); her name is Molly. She's okay. I enjoy playing with her, but she always eats my food and takes my bones. She can be a real bully. Why do I allow this to happen, you ask? She's bigger than I am, if you must know, and also, ladies don't get into common brawls. So I choose to allow her to take the food or the treat or whatever is so important to her; I'd rather not get ruffled. She's also noisy and um... how can I put this delicately? Fragrant? Noisomely fragrant? She's supposedly a purebreed, but she seems awfully common.

I don't want to be too hard on her; she is nice most of the time, and it is nice to have company. Especially since the humans are gone all day.

We have some new rules around the house that I suspect are because of Molly. I can no longer get into the bedroom for my afternoon siestas; they close the doors during the day! Also, I'm not allowed on the bed to play or to sleep. That was a long-established, time-honored tradition but do they care? Humans. They don't understand loyalty. So now I have to sleep on the floor on a dog bed, like a dog. I don't like thinking about it.

Uh-oh, here comes Molly. I wonder what she wants. Probably to take the keyboard. I better sign off or she's going to break something. I'll write more when she's taking one of her many naps. Adios!