Nobody Expects the Spanish Inquisition

It might as well have been. First my humans trick me into the car, where I think we'll go to see some nice humans, like Poppa-Nan. Then we go to some place I've never been and I get poked and prodded by humans I've never seen or smelled before! First some female human put me on some big platform thing and kept trying to hold me still, without explaining what she was doing, and it was very scary, so I had a little accident. I've never had this particular sort of accident before, so it was very surprising and humiliating. But I think, from something my humans said, it saved me from getting probed in a very delicate area, so maybe it was for the best. Then I'm sliding around on a hard metal table with some male human I don't know holding me and being altogether too familiar with me, in my opinion. My humans are just standing around saying, "Good girl, you're being so good." Do something resembling anything and get me out of here! But they didn't.

Then another male human comes in and talks and shines lights in my eyes and lifts my ears and tries to look at my teeth and pokes me with sharp things several times. Then a female human comes in and starts clipping my nails, coming mighty close to pain a few times. (Though I have to admit in retrospect she did a pretty good job.) Finally the torture session was over and I could go outside and sniff around and leave my mark on the place. If only my humans would simply have given me time to adjust, but no, they had to rush me in and get right to the pain and humiliation. I really just wanted to bite someone, but my good breeding wouldn't allow it.

I've lost a little weight. It must be from all the running and playing Molly and I do, because I'm eating more than ever. I weigh 15.8 pounds now, my fighting weight. It's good to be this svelte again, though I still think I looked just fine with a few more pounds. (Apparently this is what the female was doing earlier with the platform that scared me. Why didn't she just say so?)

Now I'm finally back home where I belong and am feeling quite exhausted. Dios mio, what a day!