Roundhouse, Shmoundhouse -- Try Teeth and Claws

Sassy does not sleep. She waits.

There is no theory of squirrel evolution. There are just those squirrels Sassy allows to live.

Sassy doesn't read books. She stares them down until she gets the information she wants.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Sassy pajamas.

Sassy doesn’t actually write blog posts; the words assemble themselves out of fear.

Sassy destroyed the periodic table because she only recognizes the element of surprise.

Sassy doesn't throw up if she eats too much. Sassy throws down!

If at first you don’t succeed, you’re not Sassy.

Sassy was what Willis was talkin’ ‘bout.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it’s a Sasstatorship.

(Adapted from Chuck Norris Facts.)